Everything Happens For A Reason...

True or False? Do you believe everything happens for a reason? I've spent the last several days thinking about this post. What to say. How to explain the happenings of the last 12 days. How to write what needs to be written. So here we go.

7am on Wednesday June 14th, 2006
Check in at St. Francis to get PICC line IV going. By 8:15am the IV team shows up & is ready to go to work. I have horrible veins so this is a normal thing for me to need before surgery. After surveying my right arm the IV team of one man & one woman along with the help a doppler machine choose a site to begin working on my IV. Due to the length of the events that took place over the next 2.5 hours, I'm going to sum up my IV experience by saying after all that time and 12 needle sticks later we were still without an IV.

About 11am
They send to the 3rd floor to wait to go to Pre-Op. This is the part of the process where the re ask you all of the questions they asked you during the pre admit phone call that takes about an hour. Family History, Past Illness, allergies, Medications & so on...

Somewhere between 12:00am & 1:00pm
It's time for me to go to Pre-OP where they are going to go over all of the above again as well as hopefully get a central line in to use as the IV site. As my cart is being rolled away I begin to feel very nervous. Very unsure of this decision to have surgery. After about 5 mins or so the anesthetist came in. After looking me over, he tells me he needs to insert the breathing tube while I'm still awake. He explains how this is the only safe way to put me under anesthetia due to my MD. I have a small mouth and getting the tube down with all of those muscles under anesthetia would make inserting the tube too difficult. Not having an airway while that deeply asleep is very dangerous. Although I think this sounds horrible, I'm going to suck it up & go through with it. After we continue to visit, the anesthetist goes on to tell me I may need to remain on the ventilator for a few hours or a few days after the surgery. As you can imagine. I freaked out! That was the end of the road for me. There's no way! Imagine waking up. No glasses on. You can't move any part of your body. You can't talk. You can't reach the nurses button BUT, you need something. You feels rushes of pain and anxiety rush through your whole body. As you know, often times it's hard to people with weak lungs to get off Vents that are used for very long. Scary.

Needless to say, I didn't go through with the surgery. For me the risks were far higher that I was willing to go for. What good does a pain free hip do me if I can't breathe on my own. The next day or so I doubted my decision. Now I know I made the right decision. Here's why...

Charlie Cotton
Cotton, Charlie, 73, retired Aerospace Materials employee, died June 16, 2006. Visitation with family 6 - 8 p.m. Tuesday. Funeral service 10 a.m. Wednesday, both at Broadway Mortuary Chapel. He was preceded in death by his parents, Leslie and Jewell Cotton, two brothers and two sisters. Survivors include his wife, Suzette; sons, David Cotton of Towanda, Rick Cotton and Brian Cotton, both of Wichita, and Terry Cotton of Bel Aire; daughters, Gina Bauer and Amanda Cotton, both of Wichita; brothers, Carl Cotton and Claudis Lee Cotton, both of Wichita; 18 grandchildren; and one great-granddaughter. Services by Broadway Mortuary.
Published in the Wichita Eagle from 6/18/2006 - 6/19/2006

I can't imagine being stuck in the hospital. Not getting to go to the funeral. Missing that oh so needed family time. I loved him so much. He'll never be forgotten.